Raleigh Harper / Emily Watkins (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
callmeemily) wrote2014-08-13 02:17 pm
callmeemily) wrote2014-08-13 02:17 pm
Joel, locked. Dated to [sometime after the cruise]. TW: mentions of death, trauma, also just sad
The cruise had those cheap little pads of paper emblazoned with their logo, and the bottom said come sail with us. Raleigh'd found the pad of paper and a pen, and it'd taken her until the fourth day to actually decide to write the letter. She was sick; the wound in her side had gone bad, and she already was burning up with fever. She'd folded the pages and stuffed them in the pocket of Joel's shirt before she finally let herself take some painkillers, until she spent a majority of her time sleeping, forgetting she'd actually even put the letter there in the first place.
When they landed, when they were in the hospital, the nurse had been helpful. The folded up pieces of paper had somehow fallen on the floor- she'd thought they were trash at first. When she'd scanned the note, thought, it was addressed to Joel, and it was an easy thing to slip them into the pile of clothes that would be going home with him. It looked important, but Joel was sleeping while he was waiting to be released for the day, so she didn't say anything, and just moved on to the next patient.
---
Joel-
I never got the chance to do this, last time. Both last times I guess-- it's weird I managed to come out both those situations alive, and now it's an exploding cruise ship that's the problem, right? Literally stranded on a deserted island?!?!
If you find this before, I'm sorry - i don't want to make it harder for you :( I'm writing it now because I know I'm sick, I know that we're on a tropical island and it's been 4 days and I know what this feels like. I know what's going to happen, and I have to write this before I can't. It's important and you're the only one I can trust with it. I'm trying to make things better. I know if I wrote a letter to spencer, he'd just be more hurt and maybe think i didn't try, and i don't want to disappoint him like that, ok?
I know what's going to happen, and I'm okay with it. I mean, I'd rather it not, but when I die, having it so I'm not alone, so I know that there's people who care about me, that means everything. You and Spencer did that. You gave me this safe space so that I could branch out, make more friends, that I could make connections w people. You've always been so unbelievably kind to me (both of you!) and it changed everything. I'm proud of who I am, and I'm not afraid anymore the way i was, and I need you to know you did that for me, and helped me be better.
Spencer told me you were getting married (!!!!) I'm so happy for you, I'm so totally happy you figured it out. I want you to be happy, to live bright amazing lives w each other, and maybe have a couple of kids. I promise, if there's any sort of anything after this, I'm going to be watching out for you and for them, okay? :))) You're both such strong, loving men that I have no idea how everything lined up so I'm your friend. I found family in you both, I'm one of the luckiest people I know because of it.
There's nothing anybody could have done. I think it's an important thing to remember, ok? This isn't anybody's fault 'cept whoever blew up the ship, and maybe mine. It's okay if you hate me for a while for this, as long as it's not forever :)
There's a couple things that I would appreciate it if you could do for me. I know it's super awkward to write all this down and then ask you for some favors, but if I'm going to ask it might as well be now, right?
- make sure Coop and Fabrice are okay (we're friends, and they tried to help w my side, and I don't want them to feel bad)
- please write my mom. i'm so sorry to leave you with this, can't tell you how much, but just tell her i love her and it's okay. I don't even know if it's the correct address anymore, but Emily Harper, 14 Bluebottle Rd, Clearbrook TN 37885
- remember that I love you and Spencer both. i know it maybe seems like it doesn't matter now, but it does.
- sometime, go somewhere sunny and read the secret garden, ok? :) and think of me, if that's not a super weird thing to want.
that's it. I'm going to start hitting up coop for that vicodin he found, so don't worry, it was okay in the end.
I love you a lot.
Raleigh
When they landed, when they were in the hospital, the nurse had been helpful. The folded up pieces of paper had somehow fallen on the floor- she'd thought they were trash at first. When she'd scanned the note, thought, it was addressed to Joel, and it was an easy thing to slip them into the pile of clothes that would be going home with him. It looked important, but Joel was sleeping while he was waiting to be released for the day, so she didn't say anything, and just moved on to the next patient.
---
Joel-
I never got the chance to do this, last time. Both last times I guess-- it's weird I managed to come out both those situations alive, and now it's an exploding cruise ship that's the problem, right? Literally stranded on a deserted island?!?!
If you find this before, I'm sorry - i don't want to make it harder for you :( I'm writing it now because I know I'm sick, I know that we're on a tropical island and it's been 4 days and I know what this feels like. I know what's going to happen, and I have to write this before I can't. It's important and you're the only one I can trust with it. I'm trying to make things better. I know if I wrote a letter to spencer, he'd just be more hurt and maybe think i didn't try, and i don't want to disappoint him like that, ok?
I know what's going to happen, and I'm okay with it. I mean, I'd rather it not, but when I die, having it so I'm not alone, so I know that there's people who care about me, that means everything. You and Spencer did that. You gave me this safe space so that I could branch out, make more friends, that I could make connections w people. You've always been so unbelievably kind to me (both of you!) and it changed everything. I'm proud of who I am, and I'm not afraid anymore the way i was, and I need you to know you did that for me, and helped me be better.
Spencer told me you were getting married (!!!!) I'm so happy for you, I'm so totally happy you figured it out. I want you to be happy, to live bright amazing lives w each other, and maybe have a couple of kids. I promise, if there's any sort of anything after this, I'm going to be watching out for you and for them, okay? :))) You're both such strong, loving men that I have no idea how everything lined up so I'm your friend. I found family in you both, I'm one of the luckiest people I know because of it.
There's nothing anybody could have done. I think it's an important thing to remember, ok? This isn't anybody's fault 'cept whoever blew up the ship, and maybe mine. It's okay if you hate me for a while for this, as long as it's not forever :)
There's a couple things that I would appreciate it if you could do for me. I know it's super awkward to write all this down and then ask you for some favors, but if I'm going to ask it might as well be now, right?
- make sure Coop and Fabrice are okay (we're friends, and they tried to help w my side, and I don't want them to feel bad)
- please write my mom. i'm so sorry to leave you with this, can't tell you how much, but just tell her i love her and it's okay. I don't even know if it's the correct address anymore, but Emily Harper, 14 Bluebottle Rd, Clearbrook TN 37885
- remember that I love you and Spencer both. i know it maybe seems like it doesn't matter now, but it does.
- sometime, go somewhere sunny and read the secret garden, ok? :) and think of me, if that's not a super weird thing to want.
that's it. I'm going to start hitting up coop for that vicodin he found, so don't worry, it was okay in the end.
I love you a lot.
Raleigh
no subject
She has met Lara.
She's met Lara when she's been courting a breakdown, and Lara oh so helpfully told her that the guy - the guy who helped, he just... he was a Siren, and for some reason, Raleigh just couldn't handle it. Not then.
"We can just... hang out, for now. Cookies. We'll cross all those things when we get there, okay?"