callmeemily | When your mood echoes your baking, you're gonna have a bad time. (Open) TW: references to violence

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When your mood echoes your baking, you're gonna have a bad time. (Open) TW: references to violence

Trigger Warning: This thread contains references to violence and traumatic flashbacks. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to tweet @thestarsplay for clarification. Thanks!

--Four batches of cookies. Four batches of the world's simplest cookies, and they'd all sucked. Every single one of them. One batch was burned on the edges with raw insides, the other she'd used salt instead of sugar (that was a nightmare), one she'd forgotten to put in the butter, and now, this.

She didn't even know what happened. Raleigh sat on Spencer's front porch, her crutches leaning against the railing as she did what she never thought she'd have to do again: she was scraping the burnt bottoms off the cookies with a butter knife, scowling. This? This hadn't happened since she was six.

What the hell was wrong with her?

"Damn it," she said to herself when she realised she only had a sliver of cookie left, and she made a face, putting it on the plate of 'salvaged' ones - or chips, really. They were mere shadows of the cookies they should have been.

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At first Bach thought he smelt cookies. Good ones, the one that made you salivate a little. But when he followed his nose, he just ended up with a girl and a plate of ..crumbs? And not even nice smelling crumbs.

"Those aren't cookies."

"You're telling me," she says with a frown, and Raleigh finally looks up, and her brows raise. She's not actually met him before, and she forces a smile, even though she knows her face looks god-awful. "Just trying to save what I can. I don't know why I keep messing them up, this is the fourth batch that's gone all wrong." You'd think, since the bakes for a living, she'd be able to handle chocolate chip cookies, but she just keeps making stupid mistakes.

"Maybe it's your face?" Bach shakes his head. "I mean, sweetheart, you look like you've been through a wash machine filled with rocks. Are you okay? Aren't you the one from the bakery?"

She actually sucks in a breath when he says it like that - Maybe it's your face, and she looks away, looks down at her hands and the plate and she can't quite stop the way her eyes well with tears.

He goes on and she has to force a tight smile, and she's incredibly self conscious when she looks up, her voice more measured because she knows she has to be because she can't start sobbing in front of a complete stranger. "No washing machine. Tossed into a wall, cracked my cheekbone, but I don't think it's the reason I can't cook."

Taking a moment to breathe in slowly, she finally nods slowly. "I work at the Seaside Bakery - at least, when I can actually walk around." She nods to the crutches. "Raleigh Harper." She's using her name - her real name - now, because... because she thinks the danger's over. She thinks that Joseph grabbed her because of her name.

"Fuck, shit, sorry, I'm horrible with people now." He puts an arm around her shoulders and gives them a light squeeze.

"That's a horrible story, Raleigh Harper and I'm sorry you had to be part of it. Did the person that do that to you got what was coming for 'im? And I don't know, I can't do things any more because I got hurt, maybe you're still in shock or something?"

She's seen him around the bakery before. That's the grand total of how much she knows him, and when he moves, when he puts his arm around her, Raleigh stiffens. Freezing, scarcely breathing, not turning to look at him, barely moving.

Trying to help. Niceness, courtesy, she was trying to help and the world's a sickly green of pre-dawn and birds sing too loud, and sneakers crunch on bare gravel. She doesn't know the man who's lost, who's clearly lost but she knew she'd want someone to help someone close to her, and then she gets in too deep; too far into the alley, and the arm wraps around her--

Raleigh's breath comes in these tiny little panicky bursts, and she doesn't hear anything he's saying over the pounding of her heart, over the strength of her memories. She'd say something -she'd say anything, but she can't, she can't. Make a sound and my partner will break your neck. She prays for someone, for Joel or Wulfric or Spencer or Jason or Levi, for someone - for anyone, because she's too scared to move or breathe or think, because somehow in her heart, there's no option that's normal here. Him just talking to her, just being concerned - that's not even a possibility. It's her, her trapped or dead or bleeding, and she can't move, can't speak, but her nails dig into the palms of her hands as the only thing she can do.

Again, as so often these past days, Bach curses himself for not recognizing what's going on underneath the other person's skin.

"Raleigh, whatever you're stuck in, I'm not going to hurt you." He drops his arm, scoots away from her. "Raleigh, hey, stay with me here, okay? Bre-" Bach makes to cover her mouth, immediately drops his hand again. "Think about how you're going to fix your cookies? Cookies! Raleigh, bake something for me, get back here in this world.

Please."

He lets go of her, and Raleigh pulls in a shuddering breath, and she puts herself as far to the edge of the step as she can, her eyes damp when he just keeps talking, like he knows her, like they're friends, like-

"Go." Her eyes are shining, and she's pulling in another breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't- You should go." He says things like stay with me, and she doesn't know him, she doesn't know him, and it's too much for her to handle. "I'm in this world, it's- it's- you shouldn't put your arm around people you don't know." The words come out raw and angry and she's trying not to cry. "Especially people who- who clearly are not okay. You don't know me, you don't know what's happened to me, and I think you should leave."

"What?"

Bach knows he was doing badly, but this much? "Hey, I was just trying to help, okay? I'm sorry, but I don't think you should be alone."

"You don't know me," she blurts out. "You don't know me, you don't know what happened, and you're talking to me like you do?" She's started to cry now, hiccupping as she covers her mouth with her hand. "I was okay. I was okay, until you touched me- he grabbed me. He grabbed me, and if I made a sound he would break my neck and what the hell do you think you know?"

The words come in an explosion of sound, her voice loud enough that people - people walking on the street, they can hear her. There's always gossip - there's gossip about her, about the Waters house, about Bach, about Spencer, and this is going to make it more, but she's not thinking of that, Raleigh's not really thinking much at all - just that she was terrified minutes ago, that her heart is pounding in her throat, that everything is wrong and it's all rushing back.

"WHAT?

Who grabbed you? Are you hurt? Being threatened by someone?" Bach was half sure that he needed to get out of here before someone thought he was attacking this woman. The rest of him just wanted to calm her down, assure her that he wasn't the enemy. But -

"I'm leaving, okay. If you are really, really sure why you're leaving through whatever you've been to again, say so. But I'm not going to leave you behind, tell me who I can get for you. And yes, that's intruding and bothering you and I don't give a fuck because you don't deserve to be so ..like this right now. I'm sure."

Levi had heard Emily shouting and he ran. He had just been coming to visit her and Spencer and Joel when he heard Emily's panicked shouting from the porch and he ran. His hip burned a bit and his stitches might have torn some but he didn't care. Emily was a friend and if anyone was hurting her, especially after all he'd been through, he swore he was just going to shoot them and ask questions later.

"Hey," he shouted, resisting the urge to put his hand on his hip where his gun was. Emily was there and so was the man he'd met at the party a few weeks ago. "What the hell is going on?"

Her voice is louder than it should be. "Am I hurt?! Look at me! I almost died, and you're sitting here like you know what the hell is going on-" She's shaking, she's shaking all over and she's trying to scramble up, to stand and get away, but she can't; her foot's too messed up, she's too hurt and so she's half on her feet, with a white-knuckle grip on the banister.

He said it was leaving, but then - then he said he wasn't, and she can't- she can't-

She hears Levi's voice somehow, and it sounds like it's far away. It sounds like he's in another room, and all she hears is is going on because of the roaring in her ears, and she's there again, she's there again and he's the one who showed up first and it was alright, then. It was okay, and she nearly does a very stupid thing.

She nearly does a very stupid thing, but when she moves to take a step her foot hurts enough, there's enough damaged nerves that it stops her from going to him. The pain makes her choke back a strangled sob. "Go away." She's not talking to Levi, she's still talking to Bach. He's just told her he doesn't give a fuck if he's scaring her, if he pushed her to this, if he put his arm around her and he's a stranger and she feels like she's going to throw up. "Go. Just go, God-" and that's when she looks at Levi, and it's like it's happening again, and it's like she's still there and she expects that if she looks down at her wrists they'll be bloody.

Maybe he really can't help her after all. He gets up. "I get it, I get it. I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Detective?" Bach surprised himself with immediately recognizing the man. He usually forgot about those that weren't for him, but was anything 'usual' for him right now any way.

He put his hands up. "She's in a trauma or something. Started crying and yelling and some talk about a guy threatening to break her neck. I wanted to help, she didn't like it. That's all, man. That's all."

Edited 2014-07-06 07:23 (UTC)

"Emily, Emily it's alright. You're fine, you're safe."

Levi didn't think she was really in any danger from the other man. He had a pretty good sense of the man from the party and didn't think he was the type to accost a woman in broad daylight on the porch. But that didn't mean Emily knew that.

"I believe you," he reassured him, not wanting the guy to think he was going to attack him or anything.

Levi wanted to wrap his arms around Emily and hold her and tell her that it was fun but he knew that she needed to initiate any contact. Emily and Bach may have been friends for all he knew and he just did something to spook her. The last thing Levi wanted was to startle her again.

"No one here is going to hurt you, Emily. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

She doesn't think that Bach is an active danger to her - he scared the shit out of her, and she wants him to go, and he won't. No matter what she says or does, he won't. She pulls in a deep breath, staring at Bach. "You know him?" The question's to Levi, and her face twists. "Since apparently me saying it isn't enough, why don't you tell him that he shouldn't put his arm around people he doesn't know, and when they tell him to leave, he should go."

The words are angry and raw, her eyes shiny with unshed tears, her chin quivers as she pulls in a breath. "I can't- You don't grab strangers like that, and I told him to leave me alone and he won't leave." She's still watching Bach as she creeps down the porch and it's obviously towards Levi, but she can't put weight on her foot because it hurts too much.

Edited 2014-07-06 20:55 (UTC)

"Emily? She told me her name was Raleigh. Raleigh Harper."

Bach knows he's not welcome, very much not so, but she's still hurt and scared and he's not fond of leaving anyone behind in such a state.

But he takes another step away from her, tries to get outside her line of sight in the hope that it will calm her down. "I'm not the enemy here, Raleigh. Emily. Whoever you are."

Levi jogged up the steps of the porch, knowing that with her injured foot Raleigh wouldn't be able to make it up them, and embraced her in a hug as she clung to him. He wasn't sure what the other guy was talking about, saying Emily's name was Raleigh but it wouldn't surprise him if an injured young woman gave a stranger a false name.

"I've met him. He's not going to hurt you, but he probably should go," he said, the last few words directed at the other man. They weren't said out of anger, just calmly in the hopes that he'd take the hint and go for the moment.

When he says her name - when he says her name her face loses all color because she hadn't told Levi yet, and what sort of friend lies about who they are from day one, and she looks at Levi and is going to say something, but Bach continues and Levi's just suddenly there.

He's there, and she doesn't know why or how, but she just sort of falls into him because he's safe, because out of anyone in the world, he's the one she's safe with. Him and Les, but he's been the one who came in, who found them first, before they'd been able to kill her.

It's probably not healthy, how much she trusts him right now. he could ask her to jump off a bridge and she probably would, but right this second - right this second she knows she's safe because he's here. "I don't think you're the enemy," she says thickly, turning enough to look at him. "You scared me, I can't- I can't handle it right now, and I just need you to not be here until I can handle it. Okay? That's all I wanted. That's all I was looking for."

For him to go away, and she can regain her balance, figure out what she was doing again. Figure out what's safe.

"Going."

So maybe it does hurt a little that a woman denounces him, but it's just part of the big pain right now. Bach nodded at the detective and left.

Levi nodded to Bach before turning back to Emily, holding her close. He didn't say anything, there wasn't really anything he could say that would be more reassuring than his presence. All she needed was to just feel safe and calm for a bit and she'd be able to steady herself, he was sure of that. All Levi could do was just hold her until she was better.

"If I pick you up and carry you inside, will you get all upset with me?"

She shook her head - she wouldn't get upset, even though- "You don't have to," she said lowly, but she didn't let go of him, she didn't pull away even though she should. She should pull away, should get him to pass her the crutches, should gather up the mess from when she'd dropped the butter knife. "I'm- I'll be okay." But she wouldn't get upset. She didn't even know if that was possible, right now, because he was safe.

Ever since she and Cossette had found the abandoned bakery, Bonnie had worried about the girl she knew as Emily. She’d read about the kidnaping in the paper and simultaneously been relieved that Emily had been found and horrified that such a thing had happened to her. It was difficult knowing what to say to someone who had been through such an ordeal, and that was what had prevented her seeking Emily out earlier following the ordeal. That and the fact she was sure the other had a number of closer friends who would no doubt have rallied around her.

But it had been long enough, and there was only so long you could give someone room before it looked like you were actively avoiding them. Bonnie didn’t want to seem like that was what she was doing. If anything she wanted Emily to know that she was there if she needed her and on side whatever the case. So when she stepped through the door, arms filled with a basket containing various baking related things (such as fancy spices, cocoa powders and several flavoured extracts), she hoped Emily didn’t mind company. “Hey.”

Raleigh's just scraping at the burnt cookie bottoms, and she looks up only when Bonnie says something - and she actually makes a noise in surprise. She forces herself to smile - she knows her face looks like a nightmare, and she's not exactly cut out for pictures, but she actually knows Bonnie, and she hasn't seen her since before everything sort of... happened. "Hey, yourself. Sit, okay?" She'd get up and get the basket from her, but she can't - she's got no idea it's anything but just the thing she's carrying, and Raleigh's just sort of settled herself on the porch steps - and there's plenty of room for two. Well, two and a half. "How're you?" She feels absurd saying it, because there's this elephant in the room she just can't really avoid.

“Yeah, I’m good thanks,” she replies, unsure if she should really ask the question back. Of course Emily is not ok, not after everything that has happened. Instead she sticks her arms out, holding the basket towards Emily. “I brought you something, just… you know.” She’d planned it as a possible distraction, since she knew how much the other seemed to enjoy baking. But seeing the state of what she thought to be cookies, she felt a little guilty about the choice now. Way to stick your foot in it Bonnie she thought, hoping Emily wouldn’t be too upset with the gift. She should have stuck to flowers, everyone loved flowers.

Raleigh takes the basket, her brows lifted, and once she sees what's in it- "Oh, god, this is amazing. You made this? Yourself? This is so nice of you." She's never had anybody do anything like this for her besides her mother - after Spencer go her the Wonder Woman hoodie, and now having this basket, Raleigh felt positively spoiled. "Seriously, thank you so much." She'd have to make her something with it, once she figured out what the hell was wrong with her.

"Sit, sit." Raleigh puts the basket to the side (she'd needed more saffron, this is seriously amazing) and looks at Bonnie, her brows furrowed. "You didn't have to do that, thank you so much."

Edited 2014-07-05 02:49 (UTC)

With a small shrug, Bonnie smiles. “I just picked things that looked interesting. I’ll admit I’m not the most ingredient savvy. So apologies for anything iffy in there. But you’re very welcome.” It always felt nice to do things for people. At home she had three little sisters to spoil rotten if she felt like it. Her Mum would always roll her eyes, but never said anything, wrapping her arms tightly around her eldest in a way that Bonnie interpreted as her Mum’s ever constant (unnecessary) apology. They’d both experience poverty and therefore it was much harder to resist doing things for people when you did actually have the money to.

She took a seat, unable to stop smiling at how excited Emily seemed to be. “Honestly, I wanted to. I hope you enjoy.”

"These are amazing, they're so thoughtful." She keeps touching the edge of the basket, because- because it's nice, and... and it makes it a little better. "I'll make something awesome for you," she promises, even though that's not the point. "Maybe, if you feel up to it, we could make it together?" Because she honestly wanted to spend more time with Bonnie - the girl seemed so nice, and Raleigh - she tried really hard to just... connect, to people. "How're you doing? I mean-" She mostly means with the whole being pregnant thing, which Raleigh doesn't know anything about, but she's got to guess it's uncomfortable.

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When your mood echoes your baking, you're gonna have a bad time. (Open) TW: references to violence

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