you teach me squid i teach you bread (jason)

[callmeemily]

 Things she probably should have thought about: the fact that they hadn't discussed what they were cooking, the fact that she probably wasn't even allowed to use this kitchen, the fact that she'd sort of... not <i>avoided</i> him, but she'd missed him the last couple of days and she didn't know if that was because she left the dog too early or what and she didn't actually have a way to see if he really wasn't busy, and... 

Mostly, Raleigh's worrying because she can. Because there's not a lot else to do besides make sure she looks decent (she does; she even put on makeup (gasp)) and that she's not looking creepy. The bag of simple groceries is already inside because she decided that she could teach him how to make beer bread and honey orange butter and she'd make some of the best scrambled eggs ever, and that would be a plan. It would be a dinner, even. Of course, this meant that it wasn't a date. It was a <i>lesson</i>. 

Totally different. Completely different.

Maybe.

For all she knew? He was married. Or gay. Or gay AND married. They hadn't really talked about it, and she didn't really know if she wanted to talk about it, and that's why she's got flour, butter, sugar, a pack of cheap beer, eggs, honey, creme fraiche, and chives. Because she's going to teach him how to cook, and then that's that.

Comments

[jasonwright]

Jason's excited for this dessert, because she's keeping it secret. It must be something amazing and he has no idea what to expect. Heck, she could totally feed him something terrible, but he still closes his eyes and opens his mouth because he trusts Raleigh which is...far from ordinary. Siren Cove has been a lot out of the ordiary for Jason.

The first taste is unbelievable and his brows furrow as he nods happily. He has no words right now so he just enjoys the taste for a minute before licking his lips.

"I don't know what you just fed me but you've won over my loyalty like Alfredo," he grins.

[callmeemily]

She grins, and he's never seen her so happy. So absolutely thrilled, and she does this thing where she literally looks so pleased, so proud of herself and there's this bounce and smile and then she ducks her head because she's embarrassed. "It doesn't have a name, I just... made it." She shrugs, and then she picks up a spoon, and turns back the table, moving to take a small bite herself - but it's obviously there's just the one.

"You really like it? No need to get the hedgehog squeaker toy?" She's still grinning, and she's so pleased that she's actually wiggling with it, unable to keep still even though she doesn't stop leaning against the counter because it's not like she can just jump up and down.

It's the first time she's not followed a recipe to start with. She's been working on it for weeks; trying to balance the flavors, making sure that none of them overpower the rest, and it seems like maybe it's working.

[jasonwright]

"You just made it?" He raises his eyebrows. This girl has talent. "I'll gladly let Alfredo have the hedgehog squeaker toy. You got a name for this yet?"

Jason's smiling because Raleigh is excited and he's never seen her this bouncy and proud before. As she should be because she managed to create something amazing. "You really got a talent here."

[callmeemily]

"I mean, I didn't just make it, I guess. I've been trying to figure out the right mix for a while. A month, maybe? A bunch of it.... you could really eat it." She made a face at the memory, but she takes another tiny bite, smiling at home and she shakes her head when he asks about the name. "No name, yet. Just... you know, wanted to get someone to try it, I guess?"

She smiles wider, and she's very proud of herself - still smiling as she tugs her lower lip between her teeth. "You think? I mean, I'm not even a baker - like, I didn't go to school to be a pastry chef or anything." The truth is, she likes it. It was always just a hobby for her, cooking was a hobby, but here... here she's been given so much freedom that she's just sort of run with it.

[jasonwright]

"You definitely found the right combination here. Even if you were working on it for a month, damn. I think it's pretty amazing you can create something like this." He nods, understanding completely. "You got my seal of approval, if that means anything."

Jason can't even imagine a formal training in anything. School is a completely foreign concept to him. Still, he thinks she has a natural talent. "Well, you could keep experimenting. Or even look at studying it?"

[callmeemily]

She's not able to stop the smile that just spreads at his words, and she's grinning as she looks down at the desert, tracing another tiny bite off of the top with her spoon. "It means a lot," she says before she looks up at him. "Thank you." The praise is probably going to go to her head, but she doesn't care right now - until he talks about studying pastry making.

"I will - keep experimenting, I mean. I can't-" She shakes her head. "I mean, where would I go to school? Or how?" She actually laughs, but it's not with the joy from before, and she clears her throat. "I mean... think about it. I've been gone for nearly six months. I'm pretty sure I'm a missing person, if they haven't said-" I'm dead is what she's about to say and she just stops. It's such an abrupt crash down from the happiness of a moment ago that she actually puts down her spoon, and she clears her throat. "Dishes. They're done, I'll get them."

[jasonwright]

Jason frowns, understanding now how ridiculous the suggestion was. Hell, he didn't even know how colleges worked, but of course she'd have to admit her identity, which was dangerous. It's not until she drops the subject and dessert to grab the dishes that he realizes she doesn't even know how her disappearance was handled back home. Did she have family looking for her? Friends?

He's not sure what to say. Raleigh is avoidance central. Jason is quiet, but he's also an open book. Finally, he settles for a simple, "I'm sorry" before slipping into thought about his own family. Did they ever think about him? Or did they simply wish he was dead?

[callmeemily]

She's clearly startled when she looks back at him. "What? Why? It's not- This.... isn't anything you need to be sorry for." It gets worse the longer she stays; it's been six months and she already feels paralyzed by it. She can't just show up, if they think she's dead, or she abandoned them. She can't go home, and she's this person who's no one here.

"You're good. Don't worry." She forces a smile, shrugging her shoulder. "It's just what it is, right?"

[jasonwright]

"I"m just sorry about your situation, Raleigh. It's tough. I made the decision for my life, you didn't." He copies her shrug, already knowing that he's not going to push her on the topic. She clearly doesn't want to talk about it and he's not the kind of person to make someone else open up just for the sake of opening up. If she wants to talk, he'll be there for her.

"It is what it is," he agrees, giving her a reassuring smile. "We make a life out of what's given to us."

[callmeemily]

"Don't be," she says tightly, and her voice drops. "Because... because I've gotten through the last like... six months by saying it's what's best and if it's anything but that, why did I do it?" She's getting emotional whiplash, because it's changing so fast. Because she's going from happy, genuinely happy to stressed and upset and it makes her eyes water, and she has to swipe at her cheek because she can feel the tear slip and god.

"Just... It'll be okay, right?" She nods, and she doesn't know if she's trying to convince him, or herself. "And hey, no matter what, we did a good thing today. You can make bread, so. You know, that's a win."

She's trying so hard, even though she feels so alone. "Can you help me put these away? I can't reach where you got them." She just keeps on acting like everything's normal, even though she's not really... okay.

[jasonwright]

"I'll help, yeah." He moves to grab some of the equipment, to place everything where it belongs, when he stops. And he can't help himself. If she's uncomfortable, he'll stop. But Jason knows he sure as hell could have used one of these anytime his life took a bad turn and he honestly didn't know what he was fighting for. Instead of picking up the equipment, Jason pulls Raleigh toward him and wraps his arms around her in a hug.

"It'll be okay," he reassures her softly. "You're not alone anymore."

[callmeemily]

She doesn't pull away, doesn't protest - in fact, it's the opposite.

Raleigh can't stop herself from leaning into him, her forehead against his chest, her eyes tightly closed. It's the first hug she's had in six months, and she has to force herself not to grip his shirt, not to hold onto him because she knows he's going to pull away and that's normal and makes sense; but she lets him hug her. She has to hold her breath so she doesn't cry, and she murmurs quietly. "Why are you doing this?" She doesn't get it; she just doesn't, but she huffs out a damp sort of laugh, pulling away just slightly. "If this is your reaction to that desert, I'll have to make it more often." And she's got tear tracks on her cheeks because she really had needed this.

She's trying to bring levity to it, and her hands are on his chest as she just takes one deep breath, and then another. "I know I'll be okay," she tries to promise. "You don't need to worry, okay?" Even though she's worried. She's terrified, but she's trying to make it not be as bad. She's trying to reassure him. "I'm alright."

[jasonwright]

Jason rubs her back, hugging her just tightly enough to comfort her and hopefully help her feel better. He hasn't hugged a person in years. Alfredo's the only being he's hugged. Still, he chuckles at her response. "My hugs can easily be bought. I just...thought it'd help," he answers with a smile down at her. It looks like it may have. Raleigh seems to be the type to hold stuff in and she needed a release.

He nods. "It's okay to stumble, you know that right? It's okay to be scared or worried. And if you are, you know where I hang out."

[callmeemily]

She's not expecting his kindness; she's not expecting the way he rubs her back, how he smiles and what it feels like for him to laugh when she's pulled close to his chest before she pulls back to look at him. It's a comfort; all of it's a comfort, and she first thinks he's talking about her leg, of all things, but then he continues and she actually nods.

"Yeah. Yeah... it... helped. You help." She's looking up at him, and her eyes slip down to his mouth again before she looks away. "Thank you," she nods as she works on settling herself. "Thank you, for everything. You're- I'm lucky to have met you."

Looking away, she glances at the dishes. "We should get those back up," she says quietly. "And.... I'll just- I'll be okay, I sort of have a long day tomorrow." For just a moment - it's brief and fleeting, but her fingers catch his to twine and squeeze, before she slips away to wipe down the counters and make it like they were never there.

[jasonwright]

He helps. That's all Jason needs to hear. He's flipped back and forth on staying in Siren Cove or just packing up and leaving. The news of a Hydra attack and the fact that many citizens acted like it was just another day in the town tempted Jason to leave once he had some money to last him til the next stop. But here...he's helped. Helped with the fishing, with rebuilding, with comforting. And he likes that feeling. He's not going to make plans to leave. Her words catch him off guard--they'll definitely be something he replays in his mind when he's feeling down.

"Of course." It's a small gesture, the squeeze, but a meaningful one. Jason picks up the rest of the dishes and puts them away, helping Raleigh clean up the kitchen as if they were never even here.

"I'll see you around, yeah?" He smiles at her as he heads to the door of the bakery. "Thanks for the dinner, Raleigh."