Calling home (spencer)

[callmeemily]

It's purposeful, the time she looks for Spencer. Joel's not home - he's not home on purpose, because Raleigh - she can't forget, right now, about what he said about not thinking about anything that'd happened to her. That's not what he'd said, of course - He'd said I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself for what you have or haven't done, but what she'd heard...

It was very different. It was harsher, because she was harsher on herself than Joel ever would be to her. So she finds Spencer when Joel isn't home on purpose, because she knows that this is going to be hard, that it's going to be hard on her and she's incredibly scared, and she knows that she's not going to be able to hide how difficult it is.

She's grateful, though, for what Joel did for her. That he'd helped her when her leg was messed up, that he'd been there for her more than once. With the letter. She's grateful, oddly, for the reminder that she shouldn't slip, that she's doing the right thing keeping a lot of this to herself; it's probably not what he meant, but she can only think of it that way. But Spencer... Spencer's different.

Spencer's safe. He knows, and he understands. He understands the things with Mark. He understands a lot of what happened, and that's why she knocks - absurdly, she knocks - on the doorframe of the living room, and she's actually wearing a set of pajamas that she only wears when she's not feeling well. It's the ugly sweater he gave her the first day she stayed here and a pair of his old sweatpants; Raleigh helped herself to the pile of old clothes long ago, and Spencer hadn't seemed to mind.

"Hey, you busy? I... was sort of thinking to make that phonecall," she said quietly as Huxley lifted his head from where he'd been curled up against Spencer's leg, and when Raleigh talked his tail slowly started to thump on the couch - he always seemed glad to see her, even though he was still pretty new.

Comments

[doublethepain]

He glances over his shoulder at her when he hears the rap on the doorframe, smiling softly when he takes in Raleigh's appearance. Joel's attending to the store and Spencer had planned to head over a bit later with Huxley and some take-out from their favorite Chinese restaurant, but he's spent the last forty-five minutes staring into the flames flickering in the fireplace and thinking about their surrogate and the plans they've been making for their family. He pauses every so often to grin down at Huxley and give him a belly rub or a scratch behind the ears but he can't keep his mind from wandering back to the baby they're going to have one day, the future he and Joel are going to build together.

His smile fades a bit when he hears her request, the one he's been waiting for since they'd discussed it a couple weeks ago, but he's already nodding as he gets to his feet. "I'm free, of course I am," he tells her, crossing his arms over his chest as he takes a few steps toward her. He hesitates, narrowing his eyes back at the couh before looking back at her and gives a sheepish shrug. "I-- Was there somewhere in particular you wanted to--" He doesn't really know if this needs any sort of muted fanfare or ceremony, doesn't know if there's a safe part of the house she'd like to make the call from, so he lets the question hang in the air before clearing his throat.

"By the way, Joel and I were cleaning the guest bedroom and clearing out the attic before his parents came to stay, I found this box of clothes." He gestures at the sweatshirt and sweatpants, both too big on her because they're his clothes on her petite frame. "It was my mom's, she was a couple inches taller than you but I think-- Well, if you don't think it's too morbid or too odd, you're free to go through it if you like. Dresses, jeans, tops, some jewelry, there's all sorts of things that I never really got around to-- to donating or throwing out."

He doesn't know if it's too strange a thing to offer but it's something that's been on his mind since he'd rediscovered the boxes in the attic. If Raleigh wants to go through the clothes before he finally parts with them, Spencer would be happy to let her have whatever she wants.