She's clearly uncomfortable with the subject, and he regrets bringing it up at all. He starts to shrink into himself, coming close to getting ready to just thank her for the soup and busy himself with something else, maybe help Joel some more with or organizing the store, but then Raleigh's telling him how much Joel loves him, and he's frozen for a moment.
He's grown quite used to the fact that he can't help but brighten whenever Joel's name is even mentioned. It's an automatic response, there's no sense in fighting it and Spencer would never want to because never before has there been anyone outside of his immediate family who makes his life better simply by existing in it. He ducks his head to hide the flush spreading across his cheeks and down his neck even though Raleigh's already seen the corners of his mouth turning up into a pleased smile.
"Yes, I know," he answers, keeping his eyes fixed anywhere but on Raleigh, and it's nothing to do with how comfortable he is with her; he just knows that when it comes to talking about his relationship with Joel, the only person he can properly convey his feelings to is, well, Joel. Even then, he doesn't quite feel like the words come out quite right but there's comfort in knowing that his boyfriend understands exactly what he's getting at because he feels the exact same way. They don't need to be perfectly eloquent about it, Spencer isn't even sure that's possible because their love grows all the time, it becomes greater with every passing moment, so how can they be expected to find a way to put words to that?
"I'm... incredibly fortunate," he continues, and that's not even the half of it but it's a fair enough place to start. He finally meets Raleigh's eyes, smile still firmly in place. "I wasted too much time trying to convince myself that a man, such a beautiful and incredible man, like Joel could never be interested in a man like me but there's a connection between us that's been there from the first day we met." He rubs lightly at the center of his chest, shifting his gaze to the doorway of the bedroom because he wonders if that column of energy Joel can see in their auras, the one that's constant between them, stretches all the way from here to the store. It has to, he imagines, because he's sure that if anything were to happen to cause any sort of break in it, Spencer would know right away. He'd feel it. He has no powers to speak of, no magic like Joel's, but he's certain he'd feel it.
"I can't tell you how much I love him," he says, voice suddenly soft, just barely above a whisper and his eyes feel like they're glazing over because he can so perfectly picture Joel's beautiful face, those curls and the beard and what the feel like against Spencer's fingers. "It goes beyond words, he's-- I was so empty, Raleigh. Before I met him, I was so empty, and I had no idea. He changed everything for me. To go to sleep in his arms at night knowing that he'll be there in the morning, it's an amazing thing because I've never had that before. I've never been so absolutely certain about anything before. It wasn't the drinking that got me happy and giggly that night, it was Joel."
There's a brief silence between them and the burning of his cheeks doesn't go away because he can't quite believe he's just said all that out loud. He rubs the line of his jaw with the back of his knuckles and lets out a sheepish smile. "He clearly brings out quite a verbose side of me, as well. I am backing the bakery, by the way, I'd have thought that was a given. Well, perhaps not by you. It was a given for me."
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He's grown quite used to the fact that he can't help but brighten whenever Joel's name is even mentioned. It's an automatic response, there's no sense in fighting it and Spencer would never want to because never before has there been anyone outside of his immediate family who makes his life better simply by existing in it. He ducks his head to hide the flush spreading across his cheeks and down his neck even though Raleigh's already seen the corners of his mouth turning up into a pleased smile.
"Yes, I know," he answers, keeping his eyes fixed anywhere but on Raleigh, and it's nothing to do with how comfortable he is with her; he just knows that when it comes to talking about his relationship with Joel, the only person he can properly convey his feelings to is, well, Joel. Even then, he doesn't quite feel like the words come out quite right but there's comfort in knowing that his boyfriend understands exactly what he's getting at because he feels the exact same way. They don't need to be perfectly eloquent about it, Spencer isn't even sure that's possible because their love grows all the time, it becomes greater with every passing moment, so how can they be expected to find a way to put words to that?
"I'm... incredibly fortunate," he continues, and that's not even the half of it but it's a fair enough place to start. He finally meets Raleigh's eyes, smile still firmly in place. "I wasted too much time trying to convince myself that a man, such a beautiful and incredible man, like Joel could never be interested in a man like me but there's a connection between us that's been there from the first day we met." He rubs lightly at the center of his chest, shifting his gaze to the doorway of the bedroom because he wonders if that column of energy Joel can see in their auras, the one that's constant between them, stretches all the way from here to the store. It has to, he imagines, because he's sure that if anything were to happen to cause any sort of break in it, Spencer would know right away. He'd feel it. He has no powers to speak of, no magic like Joel's, but he's certain he'd feel it.
"I can't tell you how much I love him," he says, voice suddenly soft, just barely above a whisper and his eyes feel like they're glazing over because he can so perfectly picture Joel's beautiful face, those curls and the beard and what the feel like against Spencer's fingers. "It goes beyond words, he's-- I was so empty, Raleigh. Before I met him, I was so empty, and I had no idea. He changed everything for me. To go to sleep in his arms at night knowing that he'll be there in the morning, it's an amazing thing because I've never had that before. I've never been so absolutely certain about anything before. It wasn't the drinking that got me happy and giggly that night, it was Joel."
There's a brief silence between them and the burning of his cheeks doesn't go away because he can't quite believe he's just said all that out loud. He rubs the line of his jaw with the back of his knuckles and lets out a sheepish smile. "He clearly brings out quite a verbose side of me, as well. I am backing the bakery, by the way, I'd have thought that was a given. Well, perhaps not by you. It was a given for me."