She says Jason hadn't hurt her, and it makes Spencer wonder whether he's just projecting how he'd have felt himself onto Raleigh; but she stammers her way through an explanation, and he thinks maybe it had hurt her more than she's willing to admit--or perhaps more than she realizes. If Joel had walked away from him after the lighthouse, Spencer would have been devastated. He knows Joel had tried to stay away but it had been more out of guilt than an inability to be willing to help carry Spencer's baggage; and Spencer has no shortage of baggage, so it's a true testatment to the character of his boyfriend--his fiance, really, though it feels too strange on Spencer's tongue to say it--that he'd stayed.
"It's not important," he echoes, pausing because it's not his place to say that it is just because it would be to him, but he gives her a small, tight smile. "Well, I think he's a fool to walk away. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life, you-- you always manage to brighten mine, at least. Besides, you're about to be this town's next top baker or whatever we should be calling you so he's missing out on all your future successes, too." He shifts awkwardly on the mattress, and it's not that he isn't willing to say things like that to her, it's that they don't come as naturally to him as they do when he's with Joel. "But all right, I'll refrain from breaking anything of Coop's, kneecaps or otherwise. He was a significant help on the island, after all, and he tried to help Joel during his fight, so I suppose I owe him for that."
Spencer owes Coop for more than that, for Coop's efforts to reach out to him after Dane and his mother had died, but he doesn't talk about it. They've never discussed it, Spencer can't even remember a time after the funeral that Dane's name had come up between them, and he's sure that's his own fault. One day, maybe, he'll be able to look at Coop and not think of Dane.
The last thing she says processes after a moment, and he squints. There's only one person who knows he gets giggly--and he's hardly call it giggly--when he's drunk because there's only one person he's really been drunk with in the past couple years. "What did Joel tell you? I'll warn you to be very careful with what you do with that information because if that gets out, your number one bakery backer is pulling out entirely, understood?"
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"It's not important," he echoes, pausing because it's not his place to say that it is just because it would be to him, but he gives her a small, tight smile. "Well, I think he's a fool to walk away. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life, you-- you always manage to brighten mine, at least. Besides, you're about to be this town's next top baker or whatever we should be calling you so he's missing out on all your future successes, too." He shifts awkwardly on the mattress, and it's not that he isn't willing to say things like that to her, it's that they don't come as naturally to him as they do when he's with Joel. "But all right, I'll refrain from breaking anything of Coop's, kneecaps or otherwise. He was a significant help on the island, after all, and he tried to help Joel during his fight, so I suppose I owe him for that."
Spencer owes Coop for more than that, for Coop's efforts to reach out to him after Dane and his mother had died, but he doesn't talk about it. They've never discussed it, Spencer can't even remember a time after the funeral that Dane's name had come up between them, and he's sure that's his own fault. One day, maybe, he'll be able to look at Coop and not think of Dane.
The last thing she says processes after a moment, and he squints. There's only one person who knows he gets giggly--and he's hardly call it giggly--when he's drunk because there's only one person he's really been drunk with in the past couple years. "What did Joel tell you? I'll warn you to be very careful with what you do with that information because if that gets out, your number one bakery backer is pulling out entirely, understood?"