He actually doesn't know Jason, but he nods vaguely because it really doesn't matter right now. It'll matter later, when he wants to know exactly who'd dared to walk away from Raleigh when she'd needed people to care about her the most, when she'd needed to understand that there are people in her life who would notice and care and look for her if she disappears. Spencer understands what it's like, believe that nobody would come looking, and he knows for a fact that nobody would have thought twice about Spencer not showing up anywhere over the weekend of the lighthouse incident. Mark could have kept him there for days, he could have been killed up there, and if he and Joel hadn't had that date, Spencer isn't sure how long it would have been before someone found him--most likely by accident.
It's different now and sometimes that still feels strange, knowing that he has people looking out for him again, but with every day that passes, he feels like more and more like he finally belongs somewhere. This house hasn't felt like home since his family had died until now, until Joel and Raleigh had made it a safe place for him in spite of what had happened in the library and the backyard, in spite of the nightmares that will still jolt him awake at night. Joel's the only one who's seen him in that particular state of panic, and Spencer would like to keep it that way but that evening he'd crawled into bed and put his arm around Raleigh to make sure she'd be all right after a nightmare of her own, he'd actually been reminded of his childhood with Dane.
He remembers building forts out of bedsheets when they'd been kids, pitching up a tent and sleeping in the backyard when they'd gotten older; he remembers listening to Dane talk about football and pretending to care because Dane would always do him the same courtesy when Spencer talked about his newest favorite author; he remembers Dane giving him that leather jacket as a gift for his twenty-seventh birthday, the one he'd been wearing when Mark had taken him, and Spencer thinks that maybe that's why he'd gotten Raleigh the hoodie. He still has the jacket, though he hasn't worn it in months now, it's the last thing Dane had ever given to him and therefore, it's something Spencer will never let go of, no matter what. The hoodie, the fact that Raleigh's wearing it, is more important to him than she could know because it means that she's carrying some part of him, a part he's happy to have given her.
"You deserve the world," he says softly, and he's said something strikingly similar to Joel more than once, but he means it. "The man who hurt you, Jason, he clearly has absolutely no clue what he's missing because you are so bright and kind and sometimes you have more energy than I know how to handle, but you are truly one of the most exceptional people I've ever met. So when you tell me I'm strong, what choice do I have but to believe you?"
It's not that simple, they both know that. It's going to take more than kind words a squeeze of his hand to change the way he sees things, but he'll make an effort to try.
"Should I threaten to break Coop's kneecaps?" he asks suddenly, brow furrowing. "If he hurts you, I mean, isn't that the sort of thing people are supposed to do for their sisterly figures? It's between that and inviting him over for dinner because I've got an awfully good scrutinizing stare. I may have to have a few glasses of wine before getting started, thought."
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It's different now and sometimes that still feels strange, knowing that he has people looking out for him again, but with every day that passes, he feels like more and more like he finally belongs somewhere. This house hasn't felt like home since his family had died until now, until Joel and Raleigh had made it a safe place for him in spite of what had happened in the library and the backyard, in spite of the nightmares that will still jolt him awake at night. Joel's the only one who's seen him in that particular state of panic, and Spencer would like to keep it that way but that evening he'd crawled into bed and put his arm around Raleigh to make sure she'd be all right after a nightmare of her own, he'd actually been reminded of his childhood with Dane.
He remembers building forts out of bedsheets when they'd been kids, pitching up a tent and sleeping in the backyard when they'd gotten older; he remembers listening to Dane talk about football and pretending to care because Dane would always do him the same courtesy when Spencer talked about his newest favorite author; he remembers Dane giving him that leather jacket as a gift for his twenty-seventh birthday, the one he'd been wearing when Mark had taken him, and Spencer thinks that maybe that's why he'd gotten Raleigh the hoodie. He still has the jacket, though he hasn't worn it in months now, it's the last thing Dane had ever given to him and therefore, it's something Spencer will never let go of, no matter what. The hoodie, the fact that Raleigh's wearing it, is more important to him than she could know because it means that she's carrying some part of him, a part he's happy to have given her.
"You deserve the world," he says softly, and he's said something strikingly similar to Joel more than once, but he means it. "The man who hurt you, Jason, he clearly has absolutely no clue what he's missing because you are so bright and kind and sometimes you have more energy than I know how to handle, but you are truly one of the most exceptional people I've ever met. So when you tell me I'm strong, what choice do I have but to believe you?"
It's not that simple, they both know that. It's going to take more than kind words a squeeze of his hand to change the way he sees things, but he'll make an effort to try.
"Should I threaten to break Coop's kneecaps?" he asks suddenly, brow furrowing. "If he hurts you, I mean, isn't that the sort of thing people are supposed to do for their sisterly figures? It's between that and inviting him over for dinner because I've got an awfully good scrutinizing stare. I may have to have a few glasses of wine before getting started, thought."