Her shoulders hunch, and she pulls into herself. "I'm sorry." It's quiet, the apology - she's still not sorry she wrote it, but she's infinitely sorry that Joel found it; she's not sorry she didn't die, but she's sorry it's hurt him.

"If I waited any longer, I wouldn't have been able to write anymore."

She said it, she finally said it, and she stared down at her fingers. "And I- You're-"

Silence. The silence after that word stretched forever. Her head's bent, and she's crying even though she doesn't want to be, but it's silent, too. Fat tears dripping onto the fingers in her lap, but she barely makes a sound past her indrawn breath, before she wipes at her eyes, looking off to the side.