"I know," he says, scrubbing the back of his knuckles against his beard. "I understand why you wrote it, I just..." But just what? He has nothing to follow that and he can only shake his head, his expression hurt and bewildered, and it isn't her fault because he truly does understand. Even now he's been thinking about it. He has a will, he has life insurance, he knows he needs to make adjustments to both of them to reflect his life as it is now. His parents are the beneficiaries of everything he owns and he needs to change it to Spencer and he knows, on top of that, he wants to leave something. Some kind of goodbye.

So he understands, but that doesn't make it hurt any less to read. Especially when she's right here in front of him. Especially when she's so young.

"Reading it is a little... it's a little like being kicked in the gut," he says, though that doesn't even begin to cover it. He can't seem to stop rubbing his face and he knows he's doing it just to cover how upset he is, but he can't do anything else. He doesn't want to take it out on her, not when he really does understand despite how terrible it feels.