He nods, though his gaze drifts back to the glass. It's not his fault, okay, that's fine for now. "He caught me by surprise, that's all," he says softly, and Joel still has his arms around him but Spencer doesn't want him to let go because if Joel lets go, that might mean he'll try to clean up the glass, but Spencer doesn't want him to do that. Raleigh had touched the glass and now she's bleeding, no matter how okay she says she is because Spencer can say he's okay, he can tell himself that over and over, but the truth is that he's not. He's not okay, and he feels that thing in his chest that he can't quite describe, he just knows that he needs to get it out.
"He caught me by surprise, and I should clean up my own messes," he continues, and he knows he's in trouble here. He knows he's drifting back where he doesn't want to be, and he reminds himself that Joel's right here but he can't take his eyes off the glass. He's fixated on the idea of cleaning it up on his own the way he couldn't have the first time around because... Because... "They were right, they were both right, nobody else would have--" He snaps his mouth shut, pressing his lips in a thin line as his mind clears again, and he's so tired of this mental whiplash, he's just tired.
He makes a fist and brings up to rub at his eyes, frowning at his brow furrows, then opens his palm and drags it down his face. "My head hurts." It comes out as nearly a whisper, merely a fact, he doesn't expect anyone to do anything about it. He needs to clean up his own messes, solve his own problems. It's not fair to Joel, not just expecting him but needing him to be there every time something gets to be a little harder than Spencer would like it to be. It's bad enough that sleeping alone is such a trial but not even being able to handle something as common as a broken glass...
He knows, logically, that he couldn't have known it would happen or that it would have triggered him this way; but logic doesn't have much place here, not when he's staring right at the place he'd been hit and a burst of pain flashes in his temple, enough to make him squeeze his eyes shut and let out a groan. "I-- I've got the painkillers, I was going to get them earlier." He places a hand against Joel's chest, pushing back from him a little even though it kills him to do it and takes a step back without breaking away completely. "Raleigh's leg. She says she's okay but she's not, she needs help. You need help, Raleigh, let him help you, okay?"
no subject
"He caught me by surprise, and I should clean up my own messes," he continues, and he knows he's in trouble here. He knows he's drifting back where he doesn't want to be, and he reminds himself that Joel's right here but he can't take his eyes off the glass. He's fixated on the idea of cleaning it up on his own the way he couldn't have the first time around because... Because... "They were right, they were both right, nobody else would have--" He snaps his mouth shut, pressing his lips in a thin line as his mind clears again, and he's so tired of this mental whiplash, he's just tired.
He makes a fist and brings up to rub at his eyes, frowning at his brow furrows, then opens his palm and drags it down his face. "My head hurts." It comes out as nearly a whisper, merely a fact, he doesn't expect anyone to do anything about it. He needs to clean up his own messes, solve his own problems. It's not fair to Joel, not just expecting him but needing him to be there every time something gets to be a little harder than Spencer would like it to be. It's bad enough that sleeping alone is such a trial but not even being able to handle something as common as a broken glass...
He knows, logically, that he couldn't have known it would happen or that it would have triggered him this way; but logic doesn't have much place here, not when he's staring right at the place he'd been hit and a burst of pain flashes in his temple, enough to make him squeeze his eyes shut and let out a groan. "I-- I've got the painkillers, I was going to get them earlier." He places a hand against Joel's chest, pushing back from him a little even though it kills him to do it and takes a step back without breaking away completely. "Raleigh's leg. She says she's okay but she's not, she needs help. You need help, Raleigh, let him help you, okay?"