He hears Joel's voice, it resonates in the room and it's louder than glass shattering or his fingers snapping, but it means Joel is here and there's still shards on the floor. He lifts his head out of Raleigh's lap so quickly he's sure he's given himself whiplash and looks to his worried boyfriend with wide eyes, the sheer panic and dread evident in them. "You can't be here," he says, glancing at Raleigh as if for affirmation before turning back to Joel. "It-- It's not safe, you can't be here, it's broken. It's all broken, and Raleigh's hurt already, I can't-- I can't do this, I can't."

He pulls away from Raleigh, still on his knees as he lets his hands drop to his sides, and what he really wants is to pull Joel close to him and never let go; he wants to bury his face against Joel's shoulder and know that his boyfriend will let him cry as long as he needs to or kiss Joel until he forgets all of this. But he's helpless, as vulnerable as he'd been the night Mark had taken him, and his hands tremble as he tries to decide what he should do. He swallows hard, trying to steady his voice as he speaks again, though he's finding it more difficult to look either of them in the eye this time.

"I-- I need to clean it up," he says, and he's proud of the way he's managed to sound calm even if it's nothing like the way he feels inside. His mind won't stop racing and he wavers as he gets to his feet, reaching out to steady himself on the back of Raleigh's chair as he brings his other hand up to rub at his temple. The headache's back--or maybe it hadn't ever left--and so is the nausea, but he think that maybe if he cleans up the glass and the blood, this could could go away. He would really like for it to go away.

"Raleigh's hurt," he says again, nodding as he meets Joel's eyes. "S-so if you can help her, I can clean up the glass, and I can fix this. I can fix it, I promise, nobody has to get hurt again because I'm going to fix it."