He aims the light a bit lower so it's not shining directly into her poor eyes--sometimes it's hard for even him to believe that he's actually quite intellectual--and he isn't quite sure what to do when she starts begging again until she says his name. His eyes widen and he nods, taking a few steps into the room before slowing his pace back down again. "Raleigh, yeah, it's me. I'm not going to leave you, I promise, I promise."
He wonders why the light keeps shaking before he realizes that it's his hand, he's trembling and it's because the things she's saying resonates so deeply with him. His throat suddenly goes dry and he feels sick from the knot forming in his stomach. His knees buckle just as he reaches the foot of the bed and he has to sit. He's trying to keep it together but he has to sit because he'd made that same plea to Joel in the lighthouse, he'd begged Joel not to leave him more than once that night--Don't leave. I won't.--and god, he wishes his boyfriend could be here tonight because he doesn't know how to do this, he doesn't know how to take care of someone when he can't even really take care of himself.
It's the way Raleigh sounds so utterly broken, though, that forces him to take a few deep breaths and look back up at her as he tries to recalls the things Joel had said to him to calm him down. It had been the recitation of The Once and Future King that had done it, that had steadied his heart rate in the ambulance, but he's not so sure that will work as well with Raleigh so he tries something else. "I'm not going anywhere, we're at home, okay? You're home, and I'll stay here with you as long as you want." He'll sleep on the floor, or probably not sleep at all, but he doesn't care. "You can take my hand if you want, I'm right here."
no subject
He wonders why the light keeps shaking before he realizes that it's his hand, he's trembling and it's because the things she's saying resonates so deeply with him. His throat suddenly goes dry and he feels sick from the knot forming in his stomach. His knees buckle just as he reaches the foot of the bed and he has to sit. He's trying to keep it together but he has to sit because he'd made that same plea to Joel in the lighthouse, he'd begged Joel not to leave him more than once that night--Don't leave. I won't.--and god, he wishes his boyfriend could be here tonight because he doesn't know how to do this, he doesn't know how to take care of someone when he can't even really take care of himself.
It's the way Raleigh sounds so utterly broken, though, that forces him to take a few deep breaths and look back up at her as he tries to recalls the things Joel had said to him to calm him down. It had been the recitation of The Once and Future King that had done it, that had steadied his heart rate in the ambulance, but he's not so sure that will work as well with Raleigh so he tries something else. "I'm not going anywhere, we're at home, okay? You're home, and I'll stay here with you as long as you want." He'll sleep on the floor, or probably not sleep at all, but he doesn't care. "You can take my hand if you want, I'm right here."