She doesn't talk about the nightmares. She tries to hide them - Spencer has come a couple of times, when he's heard her, but she tries to muffle herself in a pillow, she tries to be quiet because--
Because. Because she knows she has to get over them, to get past them, and deep down even though she trusts them, she's scared that every time it'll not just be Maybe this isn't the best place for you, but something worse that she can't even articulate, so she keeps it as secret as she can, and it doesn't come up, much.
That's why right now, she's grinning, bright and just happy, as if last night and the night before and the night before that never happened. She snags a cookie, breaking it in half. "You, eat this," she holds it up so Spencer can just eat it, and if he chooses to take it that's fine, but the intention is that no hands are needed. "And you, eat this." It's the other half - it was a caramel chocolate chip cookie, and she's making apple turnovers ostensibly for Joel although he probably won't get all of them, and she's making sticky buns for Levi and everything's for Spencer because she doesn't know yet what he actually likes besides sort of everything.
"Color me unsurprised. It's always the ones who look like they never eat who put it away. I mean, look at me." Which doesn't exactly hold true, because she's been skirting the line around not eating enough for a long time, but she still can devour a hell of a lot of food if given the opportunity.
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Because. Because she knows she has to get over them, to get past them, and deep down even though she trusts them, she's scared that every time it'll not just be Maybe this isn't the best place for you, but something worse that she can't even articulate, so she keeps it as secret as she can, and it doesn't come up, much.
That's why right now, she's grinning, bright and just happy, as if last night and the night before and the night before that never happened. She snags a cookie, breaking it in half. "You, eat this," she holds it up so Spencer can just eat it, and if he chooses to take it that's fine, but the intention is that no hands are needed. "And you, eat this." It's the other half - it was a caramel chocolate chip cookie, and she's making apple turnovers ostensibly for Joel although he probably won't get all of them, and she's making sticky buns for Levi and everything's for Spencer because she doesn't know yet what he actually likes besides sort of everything.
"Color me unsurprised. It's always the ones who look like they never eat who put it away. I mean, look at me." Which doesn't exactly hold true, because she's been skirting the line around not eating enough for a long time, but she still can devour a hell of a lot of food if given the opportunity.