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Calling home (spencer)
Sep. 19th, 2014 01:04 amIt's purposeful, the time she looks for Spencer. Joel's not home - he's not home on purpose, because Raleigh - she can't forget, right now, about what he said about not thinking about anything that'd happened to her. That's not what he'd said, of course - He'd said I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself for what you have or haven't done, but what she'd heard...
It was very different. It was harsher, because she was harsher on herself than Joel ever would be to her. So she finds Spencer when Joel isn't home on purpose, because she knows that this is going to be hard, that it's going to be hard on her and she's incredibly scared, and she knows that she's not going to be able to hide how difficult it is.
She's grateful, though, for what Joel did for her. That he'd helped her when her leg was messed up, that he'd been there for her more than once. With the letter. She's grateful, oddly, for the reminder that she shouldn't slip, that she's doing the right thing keeping a lot of this to herself; it's probably not what he meant, but she can only think of it that way. But Spencer... Spencer's different.
Spencer's safe. He knows, and he understands. He understands the things with Mark. He understands a lot of what happened, and that's why she knocks - absurdly, she knocks - on the doorframe of the living room, and she's actually wearing a set of pajamas that she only wears when she's not feeling well. It's the ugly sweater he gave her the first day she stayed here and a pair of his old sweatpants; Raleigh helped herself to the pile of old clothes long ago, and Spencer hadn't seemed to mind.
"Hey, you busy? I... was sort of thinking to make that phonecall," she said quietly as Huxley lifted his head from where he'd been curled up against Spencer's leg, and when Raleigh talked his tail slowly started to thump on the couch - he always seemed glad to see her, even though he was still pretty new.
It was very different. It was harsher, because she was harsher on herself than Joel ever would be to her. So she finds Spencer when Joel isn't home on purpose, because she knows that this is going to be hard, that it's going to be hard on her and she's incredibly scared, and she knows that she's not going to be able to hide how difficult it is.
She's grateful, though, for what Joel did for her. That he'd helped her when her leg was messed up, that he'd been there for her more than once. With the letter. She's grateful, oddly, for the reminder that she shouldn't slip, that she's doing the right thing keeping a lot of this to herself; it's probably not what he meant, but she can only think of it that way. But Spencer... Spencer's different.
Spencer's safe. He knows, and he understands. He understands the things with Mark. He understands a lot of what happened, and that's why she knocks - absurdly, she knocks - on the doorframe of the living room, and she's actually wearing a set of pajamas that she only wears when she's not feeling well. It's the ugly sweater he gave her the first day she stayed here and a pair of his old sweatpants; Raleigh helped herself to the pile of old clothes long ago, and Spencer hadn't seemed to mind.
"Hey, you busy? I... was sort of thinking to make that phonecall," she said quietly as Huxley lifted his head from where he'd been curled up against Spencer's leg, and when Raleigh talked his tail slowly started to thump on the couch - he always seemed glad to see her, even though he was still pretty new.
